She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
