Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Your cock deserves a montage
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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