i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize