i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She said her name was "party"
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
