I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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