Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
