if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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