why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
