k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You are a genius and a whore.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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