i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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