never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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