Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
