The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The Olympian is in my bed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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