As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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