Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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