It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
