I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
