My cat gives me a boner
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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