Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
