Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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