i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
