So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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