just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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