plz talk dirty to me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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