nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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