it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I party with great urgency now.
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