One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I love having hate sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
