i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
