If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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