If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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