I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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