Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
