I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
