its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who died my cat blue again?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize