Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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