There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
