Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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