she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
