Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
