chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize