Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
