You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
where are my eyebrows?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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