Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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