So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
