can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
