Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
