wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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