see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
