i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
