whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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