the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
