God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
