Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just come out here and I will go home with you...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
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His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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