What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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