i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
