And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
