i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
