So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
