i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
