He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize