I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
