Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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