this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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